Psychological Birth Control (an email from Uncle Mark and Aunt Tessa)

We received this email after Andrew’s brother and sister in law took the kids…ALL the kids and ALL the cousins…overnight on Saturday. Mark and Tessa don’t have kids yet…just their doggy, Izzy. After the weekend, we can be certain that Izzy will remain an ‘only child’ for quite some time! Well, guys…how ’bout this: When you have them, don’t have six. I love their sense of humor…. I’m still laughing!

Sold to Gypsies?!

Do any of these kids belong to you?

I showed the gypsies these pictures and they instantly refused to buy any children!!
Can you believe that?! Gypsies refusing to buy children. They must be defective!!

Things that I learned last night:

1. Bag Toss (cornhole) is not a unifying game. There will be no “Ping-Pong Democracy” summits in the near future.

2. When a kid says “[A]re we going to shoot videos on/in the garage?” He literally means that he would like to film a music video in/on the garage, not, simply, project a movie onto the garage. Ask Elijah.

3. Giving kids Coke (of any kind) at 9:30 PM is a great way to keep them up to; watch an entire movie; run around like crazy people; and (of course) laugh hysterically till the wee hours of the morn.

4. Grass can easily cut a finger. Ask Rachel.

5. Talking about throwing up at breakfast is not ok. Ask Gabe.

6. Lambers smells like dog slober. Ask Sarah… and Izzie….. mmm, Lambers.

7. Although eggs are protein, they are still not acceptable at breakfast. Ask Michael.

8. No, the roof of the tree house is not structurally sound but thanks for asking first. This one’s Isaiah.

9. Big kids can be little $#!ts and little kids can be big $#!ts… interesting, eh?

10. And, thanks for the psychological birth control!

We really had a lot of fun. I didn’t even have to kill any of them . . . . . Yet!!

We can’t wait to host the next “all cousin” sleep-over movie night. Hopefully by then I’ll find a gypsy with a buyer!! Don’t act like you never thought of it!


Unka Marky and Auntie Tessa


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