The Dog Food Post (from the archives)

I’ve been observing our dog lately, and I think I am finally gaining some understanding as to her eating habits. What appeared at first to be just plain old random picky-ness now, after some consideration and experimentation, seems to follow a precise set of rules:

1. If it’s on your plate, I will eat it. Even if you plate is on the table. Even if what is on your plate is toxic to dogs. Especially if what is on your plate causes doggy GI distress, vomiting and profuse diarrhea.

2. If the cat is eating it, I will eat it. Even if I have to do so with the cat hanging off my muzzle, making interesting hissing noises.

3. If it’s on the floor, I will eat it (as long as it’s not dog food).

4. If it’s plain, brown dog kibble, I will not eat it until I have verified that there is no other food available to steal, beg, or pilfer. Then I will give you a nasty look as I begrudgingly eat only the amount necessary to tide me over until you leave something better out on the counter.

5. If it’s plain, brown dog kibble that comes in small pieces and therefore looks like it should belong to the cat, I will probably eat it.

6. If it’s a new brand of plain, brown, large dog kibble that cost you more money than it should have, I will not eat at all for three days. After three days, I will eat the dog food only while you are not looking.

7. If you put the dog food on a plate, stir it up with a spoon, and pretend to eat it yourself while making lots of satisfied human noises and professing loudly that it’s too bad this is people food, and then finally you put the food into my dish and pretend to walk away, I will eat it because I thoroughly enjoy watching you make a complete fool of yourself.

So! There you have it. The Dog Food Rules, as clearly exhibited by our Labradoodle, Maddy.

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